I had my son at 18. I met his dad when I was 16, we dated for over a year. The summer after I graduated high school and began college, he asked my dad if he could marry me. We planned a beautiful wedding just how I wanted it to be. A perfect December wedding in a log cabin. We took our honeymoon to my favorite place in Tennessee and a few weeks after we got home, we found out I was pregnant.
I didn’t want to get pregnant so soon. The plan was that we would live with my parents for a while and find a house that we both loved and I would finish college before having any children.
The whole month before our wedding I had been putting off my appointments to get back on birth control because I was busy planning a wedding and going to school and I never had the time. When we found out I had gotten pregnant on our honeymoon, we were both shocked. I mean, obviously we know how babies are made but really what are the odds of getting pregnant on your honeymoon in real life?
We were scared and clueless. My world was spinning and all I could think about was how I was going to be a teen mom. Everyone says having babies early will ruin your young years when you should be living your life.
But my life was just beginning.
Having a baby early isn’t a death sentence. Not many years ago it was the norm to have children in your teenage years. I know that times are different now and life has drastically changed since then and I’m not encouraging teen pregnancy but rather, telling the story of mine.
When we told our family that we were expecting, they were all so excited. I took a breath of relief because I felt like I could be happy about this too. When he was born, my world was shaken. I had to grow up and raise this perfect little human.
That’s where my life went from being near empty and meaningless to filled with a whole new purpose. I started to be a better person. I started to focus on making positive changes. I started caring about others more- about myself more. I learned the meaning of true friendship and how to be a better wife.
It’s not easy being a young mother, wife, college student, and trying to run a business- but I’m doing it.
Since having my son, now I have empathy for everyone. I don’t judge the mothers that I see in the grocery store with screaming children because that’s me sometimes. I don’t belittle someone’s feelings because I fought my way through post partum depression and now I can relate to them. It’s a superpower in this age to be able to feel things, really FEEL things and I contribute it all to being a mother.
If it wasn’t for me having a baby at a young age, I wouldn’t know the things that I know. I wouldn’t be able to relate to the older mothers and my college-aged peers. I can help and encourage a broad range of people.
I lost absolutely nothing when I had my son at 18 but I gained everything.
So no, being a young mom does not ruin your life.